The Silver Lining

After the few days that we've had around here, I think a version of 'The Glad Game' from Pollyanna is in order.

Bad News: I got a stomach virus on Wednesday that lasted through Thursday night

Silver Lining: Charlie's parent's were visiting and could take care of the boys while I was sick

2nd Silver Lining: Charlie didn't catch it!

Bad News: Eli caught a bit of the virus and threw up all over me and all over himself

Silver Lining: Owen and Garrett haven't thrown up

2nd Silver Lining: Everything in the line of fire of Eli was washable and came out of the laundry no worse for the wear

Bad News: Most of our sippy cups melted in the dishwasher : (

Silver Lining: I've secretly wanted to buy new cups for awhile now and most of the cups at Babies R Us are on sale right now!

Bad News: All three boys are pretty out of sorts and just want to lay around and watch tv

Silver Lining: They are all taking fantastic naps and going to bed earlier than usual

Bad News: I meant to start school back up with Owen and Eli this week... but didn't

Silver Lining: I didn't because Charlie's parents were here for a visit and we loved seeing them!

Bad News: It's been more than two months since I've posted to this blog!?

Silver Lining: We had a summer full of family, vacation and fun, which didn't leave much time for blogging.

Next week is going to be busy, full and fun! My mom's group is kicking off on Monday and my women's bible study on Tuesday. I need to get in the groove with a schedule for teaching the boys while trying to get Garrett used to missing his morning nap Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. It's going to be a great week - stop back to see how it goes!

Inspiration for the Moms Out There

Have you ever caught yourself responding "I'm just a stay at home mom" when someone asks you what you do for a living? JUST?! Seriously?! This is the hardest, most exhausting, most time consuming, most important, (most rewarding!) job available - raising the next generation to be thoughtful, considerate, contributing and intelligent members of society. When you're tempted to feel like you're *only* a stay at home mom, think about this quote and realize that we have the only job out there where we get to be everything to someone (or multiple someone's!)

To be Queen Elizabeth within a definite area, deciding sales, banquets, labors and holidays; to be Whitely within a certain area, providing toys, boots, cakes and books; to be Aristotle within a certain area, teaching morals, manners, theology, and hygiene; I can understand how this might exhaust the mind, but I cannot imagine how it could narrow it. How can it be a large career to tell other people's children about the Rule of Three, and a small career to tell one's own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman's function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. (Excerpt from What's Wrong with the World by G. K. Chesterton in Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge)

Stand proud moms - you're indispensable!

Book Review: Bringing Up Girls

I have three boys and no girls, so why would I read a book subtitled "Practical advice and encouragement for those shaping the next generation of women"? I have to admit that I only read Bringing Up Girls because it was this month's book club book, but I never expected to love it. While the whole point of this book was to advise parents on how to raise their girls, I couldn't help but feel a huge responsibility in how I raise my boys because of it.

Some of the chapters discuss the desire of little girls to feel like princesses: valued, beautiful and pursued. Some of the chapters discuss purity (and the extremely dangerous repercussions of sexual promiscuity). Some of the chapters talked about the importance of a father's role in his daughter's life (and the unhealthy fillers she can turn to when that relationship isn't quite right). Some of the chapters talked about the brutality of girls towards each other (especially in middle and high school) and the hit their self-esteem takes when they are at the brunt of others' ridicule. It was hard being a teenage girl... I can only image how hard it would be to raise a teenage girl!

In reading about purity especially, I felt a huge calling to train my boys in how to treat women well. How to treat them like ladies and how to care for them as they would a little sister. Obviously Charlie's example to them will be of utmost importance as they grow into young men. With a culture today that emphasizes peer relationships over parental relationships, technology over talking and promiscuity over purity, our kids are in for a world of hurt if we aren't helping them navigate the rapids.

There was so much I could relate to in what Dr. Dobson described. I think today's culture wants to ignore the fact that women are different than men and that we have different needs, insecurities and hormones. It doesn't make us weaker, but it does make us different. Knowing how to raise our sons to care for these girls and women won't only make them better husbands, it will make them better people. I don't know about the other mothers of sons, but I'm all for training them to be understanding, protective, respectful and loving men and husbands. I think their future wives will thank us : )

In summary, whether or not you have a daughter, read this book. I can't wait to read the predecessor of it, Bringing Up Boys.

Round Holes, Square Pegs

I had a vision. It included two little boys water coloring their coffee filters to turn into beautiful butterflies. Each brush would be dipped into a color, blotted on the filter, rinsed in the water, and another color would be chosen. Rinse and repeat, literally. In this vision, we were all smiling and happy, my little blossoming Picasso's creating masterpieces at the ripe age of two.

In reality, the only part of my vision that turned out to be true-to-life is the fact that they are, in fact, two years old. They were so excited to hold a paint brush and dip it in the paint over and over that almost no paint made it onto the coffee filter. My brand new watercolors looked like this...

... and I was left feeling frazzled and frustrated.

The worst part is that they were having a great time while I was too busy focusing on how they weren't doing it the 'right way' to have a great time with them. I missed out on an opportunity to build a happy memory because I was too focused on my own agenda. The thing is though, that there are going to be thousands of times in their lives when they don't do something exactly as I would. My job as a mom is to provide a safe and protected environment for them to make decisions, have fun and learn all about the world around them. Sure, there should be consequences for throwing paint or painting the table, but art time shouldn't be over for something stupid like mixing paint colors. Learning to push my silly expectations to the side will make me a better mom and make them more secure, happy and confident kids.

Have you ever had a 'watercolor moment' when you realized that you had to let go of an expectation in order to allow your kids to be who God created them to be?

Stubborn or Stupid... or Both?

Garrett is a chub. I love it, but boy oh boy is he getting big!

He's a little more than 3 months old and he's already growing out of his size 2 diapers. I think he is at least. Based on the scale, he still should have 2-3 more pounds left to stay within the weight limit of the size 2s, but (and I'm not exaggerating here) he wakes up with his entire belly soaked after every nap, and probably every other time he's nursing he'll blow out the back of his diaper. He's a hot mess.

The problem is that we still have 2/3 of a box of size 2s left that I don't want to waste... and I'm not sure I want to admit that my baby is already big enough for size 3s. I don't mean 'admit' in an 'I'm embarrassed that he's so big kind of way' but more in an 'I'm in denial that he's growing so fast kind of way.'

I know that I should just bless someone else with 100+ diapers and move on to the size 3s, saving myself a lot of sheet changing and loads of laundry, but I feel stubborn about the fact that my baby is growing up so fast.

Can anyone out there relate to me in not wanting to admit that their baby is hitting (yet another!) milestone? I'm in denial... and need to go change the crib sheets!

How Do You Tuck in a Superhero?

Charlie bought me a book for Mother's Day/our anniversary written by a mom of five boys. The book is divided into chapters (Proper Care and Feeding, You Know You're with Boys When..., Family Togetherness, etc) and each chapter is full of short stories related to each topic. They range from hilarious to heartwarming, but regardless, I'm realizing that each story is a glimpse into my future as a mom of three boys of my own.

From the vast quantities of groceries downed every week to the 'house rules' she never thought she'd actually have to say out loud ("We use doors to enter the house, not air-conditioner vents or second story windows"; "We never close our brother into a large appliance, no matter how much he begs you to do it"), from the camaraderie of brotherhood to the challenges of grooming, trimming and styling boys, I'm both excited and slightly terrified of the years ahead of us.

I LOVE what she says about motherhood:

The journey of motherhood centers on being the person God has chosen out of all humanity and space and time to care for these souls, these beings who will exist for all eternity. The thought of that incredible task, that humbling honor, is more than enough to direct my focus back to an overwhelming gratitude for the gift of my children, my incredible sons, in my life.

I read that page last night after a difficult few days when I was thinking of my boys as a challenge instead of a blessing. What an awesome reminder of the task that God has laid in front of me: to raise these boys, these blessings, remembering that He has chosen ME out of all the women in the world, to be the one that they call Mom. What an honor.

"It's Too Late, To Turn Back Now"

27 weeks pregnant is most certainly too late to reconsider the timing of having a third child. I just keep telling myself that my mini breakdown today is the direct result of four straight days of caring for two sick toddlers who are whiny, snotty, coughing messes and refuse to be awake without crying. I know that the level of exhaustion that comes from being woken up 2-4 times in the middle of the night by coughing fits is enough to run anyone's patience a little thin during the day. And I know that sometimes food just goes to waste when you present it to a fussy toddler who doesn't want to eat anything - no matter how lovingly you prepare it for him.

All that aside though, I also know that my mini breakdown is a direct result of the stress that I'm under that's caused by LIFE right now... and the progression of one more week into this pregnancy isn't really helping. Let me give a brief summary of what needs to happen before this baby boy makes his appearance:

• Charlie will finish his current rotation in Atlanta
• He will interview for the positions he has applied for
• He will travel to and from these interviews (mostly out of state) and I'll fly solo while he's gone
• We'll get word of whichever job(s) he's offered
• We'll weigh the pros and cons of the offers (hopefully it's an easy decision) and choose a city where we'll settle
• House hunting, negotiating on price and closing on a house [mental math says that even signing an agreement on a house TODAY wouldn't allow us to close until I'm 31-34 weeks pregnant]
• Organizing, packing, moving to the new house
• Charlie starts his brand new job
• He travels to CT for training in July for 5 days, me flying solo again
• Finding a new doctor and changing insurance for the third time this calendar year
• Figuring out an emergency plan for the boys when I go into labor
• Having a baby

That's an awful lot to accomplish in a maximum of 13 weeks from today, especially since the interview process is just starting and there's no reason to think that we'll have a clue of what's going on within the next couple weeks, though I'm praying that I'm wrong about that.

It's just a lot to process and even more to feel like you have no control over any of it. Being stuck in the house and having to skip playdates, church and other fun activities because of the aforementioned sick kiddo dilemma is just adding to my loneliness right now.

Time is marching on and I feel like a passenger on a train that's moving too fast. I was remembering the good ol' days of being pregnant with the boys when each day felt like a week had passed instead of now, when each week is flying by as if it's a day. I'm so so thankful for this healthy little boy that's on his way, but I'm also praying that we still have as many days left to work with as possible and that everything else in life starts to move as fast as this pregnancy.

Don't Mind Me... I'm Just Nesting

That's right. 23 weeks and already nesting. It's like I can't get things clean enough. Already this morning, I bundled up the two bags worth of garbage overflowing in the kitchen, took out the recycling, scrubbed the floor around the garbage can, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, washed and folded two loads of laundry (including crib sheets), put new sheets on both cribs, vacuumed the entire upstairs, used the vacuum attachment on both bathroom floors, Clorox wiped two highchairs, put all of my and Charlie's clothes away and took all miscellaneous toys back to the boys room that had walked all over the upstairs.

And it's only 11:36am.

I wish I could stop there. Yesterday I cleaned out my sock and underwear drawers (why is that such a feeling of accomplishment?!) organized my spice rack and refilled all the jars to the tops, wiped all the lint and extra detergent off the washer and dryer, organized my Tot School supplies and cleaned out both travel toiletry bags. Are we going on a trip any time soon? No.

I have big plans for my afternoon too - sweeping and vacuuming the downstairs, rotating toys, figuring out how to disassemble my double stroller to wash the seats (any ideas?!), make dinner, walk to Aldi with the boys, organize and file ideas from my parenting magazines and scrapbook. It's like the energy is never ending during the day and every time I look up there's something else calling my name. I was actually fantasizing about carpet powder this morning. You know, the stuff that you sprinkle on, vacuum up and it leaves your house smelling wonderfully fresh? I need to have it!

I know that nesting is normal, but when I looked back on this post, it was only a week before I had the boys, not 17 weeks! Oh my gosh, only 17 weeks to go... but there's so much to clean!

What weirdo nesting actions have you caught yourself doing in the past? Please tell me I'm not alone!

Rules for Feeding My Kids

Here it is, the Complete Guide to Feeding My Children. These are hard and fast rules, never to be broken if you want a successful dining experience.

• Bananas are their most favorite food and they eat them every day for breakfast, except when they won't even take a bite
• When eating cereal, don't even try to help them with the spoon, unless they are having one of those mornings when they want you to do it for them
• Grilled cheese is a hit, except if you give it to them whole, or without a fork
• Chicken nuggets are also a hit, but only if you leave them whole and give at least 3 servings of ketchup (per nugget) with them
• Cheese is a favorite food, unless it's a white cheese, then don't even bother. Especially mozzarella quesadillas, they are a waste of time to even cook.
• Serve foods in progression from least favored to most favored, so that at their hungriest, the only option they have is their peas, unless you're feeding Eli, in which case peas are his favorite
• Never reveal the location of the bag of pretzels, gummi bears or Capri Suns, as you will be expected to hand one over if you're within 10 feet of that location
• If you're not sure how they will like a new food, pretend it's not for them and take a bite yourself. Then offer a bite to them as if you're generously sharing your food with them and they will likely polish it off
• If you feed them any form or size of a snack within two hours of a meal, don't expect any of the meal to be eaten, no matter how much they like it. Snacks are best avoided altogether.

And there you have it. Easy, right?!

Do your kids have crazy eating quirks too?

The Moral Code of Motherhood

There are a lot of things that should go without saying in life:
::Don't look at your neighbor's paper when taking a test.
::Don't order the most expensive thing on the menu on a first date.
::Don't talk about people behind their back.
::Don't purchase any big ticket items without thinking about it for 24 hours.

In motherhood, I think there are also things that should go without saying.
::Don't take your kid to a play date if they are sick.
::Don't give glaring looks to a mom whose kid is throwing a tantrum.
::Don't judge the length of time that another mom chooses to nurse their child, keep a pacifier or put off potty training.

::Don't sell an item at a consignment sale without disclosing whether or not all the pieces are included!

I hit a homerun at a local consignment sale tonight on so many items - clothes for Easter, puzzles, toddler forks and spoons, books and block, just to name a few. I bought "Now I Know My ABCs" and was so excited about it... until I realized that two of the pieces to the mini-puzzles were missing. And I found one of those old-school Tupperware blue and red shape sorters. There were two of them, one for $5 and one for $3, without any noticeable differences. I bought the $3 item and discovered at home that one of the pieces wasn't there. If you're going to seal the boxes and bags, at least tell me on the tag if something's missing!

What do you think are some of the unwritten rules of being a mom?

Issues... I Have Issues

This is my first week of Tot School. Stay tuned this weekend for the summary of all the activities that the boys have participated in - I think it's been a pretty successful week so far!

I realized though that I have a ridiculous obsession with order and organization. It makes me CrAzY when the boys want to play with more than one color of play-doh at a time. I don't understand their desire to dump things just for the sake of dumping them. I like my crayons sharpened and perfect... so you can see why this might bother me just a little bit.

Laugh if you must, but it's taking everything in me not to throw this box of crayons away and buy a new one! Sometimes I think I'm just a little crazy... so I'm wondering...

What do your kids do (because they're kids) that drives you nuts?

The Start of Something New

I have never had the desire to homeschool my kids. And by never, I mean NEVER EVER. Even though I was a teacher, I was a high school teacher of a very specific subject and have not been trained in Elementary Ed or the fundamentals of teaching children the basics of reading, writing, math, phonics or anything else. I know that I'm passionate about education and teaching, I know that I'm creative and I know that I can come up with some great ideas for art projects, games, and hands-on activities, but I never put those facts together with the notion of homeschooling my kids. Yes, I know that my boys are only 18 months old. Yes, I know that they don't talk yet. Yes, I know that 'homeschooling' wouldn't officially begin for another several years. But I also know that when I found out about the concept of 'Tot School', my heart skipped a beat. Tot School is basically 'intentional learning through play.' You develop age appropriate lessons for your child based on the skills or knowledge that you want them to learn and then reinforce those skills throughout the week through various applications during playtime. Wow, that actually sounds really complicated! (But it's not, I promise!) After talking this through with Charlie, desiring to put my skills as a teacher to good use and wanting to give the boys the best educational opportunities that we can, we decided that Tot School was in the very near future for the boys... and by 'very near future,' I mean we start tomorrow! For my own planning and focus purposes, I thought that having a Theme of the Week would be helpful. This upcoming week we'll focus on Circles. The next is Squares and the next is Triangles. I think Colors will be shortly after that. If you'd like to learn more about Tot School, I would recommend the Tot School link and the ABC&123 link along the right of my blog. And if you have any ideas that tie into the upcoming themes (listed along the right hand side of the blog) PLEASE leave me a comment and let me know. It's never too early to start something new. This is going to be an adventure!

Passion: Born With or Blessed With?

Make Your Mark. That's the theme of the sermons right now at the church we're attending here in Alpharetta. Make your mark, impact something, make a difference, find your passion and pursue it. The challenge, of course, is figuring out what your passion in life really is. It's not the same as finding things you really like to do, or finding things you're good at, though those are usually good indicators of what your passion might be... but your passion in life is the thing(s) that give you energy, that make you who you are, and that you can't imagine yourself not doing. I struggled with this for what felt like weeks. I wasn't sure if everyone was born with a passion or if only certain people were blessed with a passion. Am I really passionless?! I don't have time to be passionate about anything - I have kids to take care of! I used to be passionate about teaching, but I'm not a teacher anymore, so what does that mean? I thought and thought and thought about what my passion could be. My sister, half-jokingly, said that my passion was blogging. I just thought, 'I hope not! That's a pathetic passion!'... but the more I thought about it, blogging is just one way that my passion plays out. You see, YOU are my passion. MOMS are my passion. I feel strongly about making connections with other moms so that none of us feel alone in parenting. I want to bring resources and ideas to you so you don't feel isolated during this time when it's easier to stay at home, alone, with your kids than bundle them up for the cold and drive somewhere that they can potentially get sick for the next two weeks. I love playgroups and Mops and blogs and meeting other moms because I love the feeling of community and feeling connected when there are so many days that I just need someone to talk to. My goal is to stay connected to other people, moms in particular, while my kids are growing up so they don't leave me one day and I realize that my whole life just left for college at the same time. It's important to stay connected, feel supported and reach out to other moms, so they don't feel alone too. The more I thought about it, people are born with a passion. The trouble lies in discovering what your passion is, especially as you go through different phases of life. How can you use your gifts to help others, help your family, or help the world? And to end, here's a quote from Dear John by Nicholas Sparks: "It can be coins or sports or politics or horses or music or faith... the saddest people I've ever met in life are the ones who don't care deeply about anything at all. Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there is nothing to make it last. I'd love to hear your dad talk about coins, because that's when you see a person at his best, and I've found that someone else's happiness is usually infectious." Have you figured out yet what your passion is? Have you ever even thought about it before? What is it, and how can you apply your passion to your life right now? Leave a comment, I would love to hear what really charges you with energy - even if it's hard to apply right now! (If you've noticed the changes along the right hand side of my blog, you're probably wondering what all the home school info is about. Well... you're just going to have to wait until my next post!)