Rules for Feeding My Kids

Here it is, the Complete Guide to Feeding My Children. These are hard and fast rules, never to be broken if you want a successful dining experience.

• Bananas are their most favorite food and they eat them every day for breakfast, except when they won't even take a bite
• When eating cereal, don't even try to help them with the spoon, unless they are having one of those mornings when they want you to do it for them
• Grilled cheese is a hit, except if you give it to them whole, or without a fork
• Chicken nuggets are also a hit, but only if you leave them whole and give at least 3 servings of ketchup (per nugget) with them
• Cheese is a favorite food, unless it's a white cheese, then don't even bother. Especially mozzarella quesadillas, they are a waste of time to even cook.
• Serve foods in progression from least favored to most favored, so that at their hungriest, the only option they have is their peas, unless you're feeding Eli, in which case peas are his favorite
• Never reveal the location of the bag of pretzels, gummi bears or Capri Suns, as you will be expected to hand one over if you're within 10 feet of that location
• If you're not sure how they will like a new food, pretend it's not for them and take a bite yourself. Then offer a bite to them as if you're generously sharing your food with them and they will likely polish it off
• If you feed them any form or size of a snack within two hours of a meal, don't expect any of the meal to be eaten, no matter how much they like it. Snacks are best avoided altogether.

And there you have it. Easy, right?!

Do your kids have crazy eating quirks too?